I get on a plane in a few hours to fly away for two weeks. Richard keeps encouraging me to leave the stress behind and just enjoy my time away.
Here's why I find that nearly impossible.
1. We found a new house. We want to start actions on it quickly, as the market is tight. So while getting ready to go away, I have my ear to a phone making arrangements to see, and investigate negotiating with our insurance about this house. Getting ready to go is not a stress-free event!
2. Richard went away to the Phillipines and I KNEW we would have a 5 pointer while he was gone. And we did. Now I'm sure they will have one (we are over-due) a good-size earthquake while I'm gone. I think I'm an earthquake predictor now.
3. I've lost my confidence that things will go right for me. I used to be a very confident person. I felt that the world was there and I could achieve and do what I want. I felt loved and certain. But events in our lives leading up to the earthquake, then the earthquake and now in negotiating with powerful insurance companies, I feel vulernable. Even worse, I now 'know' that everything can go wrong. I worry that things will go wrong with those I leave here. I guess it is that impeding sense of doom that people often talk about.
But, I'm going to try to get on that plane and just enjoy my journey. Maybe that is what I should always do in life. Even when the trip through life is bumpy, a sense that this is a journey, and ultimately earth is not my home. The final destination is going to be great, and as much as I can, I should enjoy the journey, and hang-on, trusting God when it isn't so great.
But right now, I need to get ahold of that real-estate woman.